Last week while watching the Today show (because of the time difference, sometimes I watch it during nap time), Matt Lauer asked Bristol Palin the following question about her baby, Tripp, “Is he a good baby?”
This one simple, commonly asked question brought back memories of frustrations from Will’s days as a baby.
This one simple, commonly asked question just happens to be a pet peeve of mine.
This one simple, commonly asked question has bothered me all week. I honestly have no idea why, because I promise you that I do have more important things to think about.
I have learned, though, that when something bothers me, the only way for it to go away is to write about it.
When Will was a baby, he cried a lot. And by a lot, I mean, A LOT!
He was a big, very healthy baby that was a natural nurser, but sometimes and on many, many days, the crying was non-stop…it was almost unbearable.
I am fairly certain that he had colic, although I did not take him in for a diagnosis.
One question that I was often asked and was never quite sure how to answer was, “Is he a good baby?”
What are the exact qualifications for a good baby?
Is is that they sleep all night their first night home from the hospital and continue to do so from then on?
Is is that they take to nursing right away and eat on a perfect three hour schedule?
Is is that they are perfectly content and never utter a cry of complaint?
If so, then no, he wasn’t a “good” baby?
I don’t think I’ve ever met one.
And what mother wants to answer that question with “No, he’s not a good baby. Guess I got stuck with a really bad one.”
I certainly didn’t.
I loved my baby boy more than anything, even though my days were often filled with anxiety over his constant tears and frustration with myself for not being able to calm him.
I didn’t want to pass a judgement of “good” or “bad” on this precious gift I was given to nuture and care for.
When I was asked if I had a “good baby” I often just smiled and potiley answered “Yes” while I cringed inside just a little bit.
So, what do you think about this question?
Do you ask it? Does it bother you?
Or am I just crazy ranting mom who needs to get off of my soap box and go to bed?
—————————————————–
On a side note….As I was looking through Will’s baby pictures for this post, I noticed that I do not have one single picture of him crying.
That kind of makes me sad….
——————————————————
On another side note….I cannot believe that he will be turning two years old in just about a week. Wow!
Here’s a heads up….Expect to see lots of Will posts this week.
He sure is one sweet hand-full of a boy!
Visit Homemaker Barbi’s Family Friday to see more family related posts from this week.
Suzanne says
I didn’t like that question either. I agree that it felt annoying to have someone ask that – as if a crying baby is a bad thing.
Normally when I meet a new mom/baby, I ask how the new schedule is going – i.e. whether they’re eating ok, etc.
Suzanne’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – Norwegian Dance
homegrownstrawberries says
I am right there with you. I HATE that question and one poor stranger in the target parking lot was on the receiving end of my expression of dislike.
“Is he good? Yes he is wonderful! He is a miracle. Do you know how statically improbable it is to conceive and the to carry that little life to a full and healthy term?”
homegrownstrawberries’s last blog post..Bunny Boy and the Magic blanket
Jordan Carroll says
I totally agree! Like we talked about yesterday, Brady was just like Wil! Reading your post brought back many, many memories for me! It’s like I’ve said all along…I cherished every moment…even the ones where I thought that if he screamed for another minute I might throw myself out of the window…because I knew that it wouldn’t be like that for long. He was my precious little miracle and in some strange way, I loved the sound of those screams! I love everything about him!! To me he was perfect, and I suspect that he always will be! 🙂
Jenny says
I HATE (probably not actually a strong enough word) that question! Jamie cried a lot and wanted to be held constantly (and I tried that CIO thing…he lasted WAY longer than I did!) It seems silly to call a baby good or bad…they’re babies! I usually just ask people how things are going – since that’s what I actually want to know anyway 🙂
This is the first time I’ve commented on your blog – but wanted to say that I love it! Your posts are always very practical and I find a lot of wisdom in them.
Shawn says
So very true! Babies express themselves in their own unique ways, and if they could speak they wouldn’t cry as much… Bless their hearts!
Mary says
Easy–ALWAYS answer “Yes, he sure is!” because OF COURSE he/she is–and rise above the temptation to help that person understand what a stupid question it is! Rise above, rise above. . . .
I just started reading your blog and really enjoy it. Thanks!
Heidi says
What a great post… and an awful question. I got it too. I always said something like “Sometimes…depends on the day.” Duh. Not every baby is a ‘good’ baby in every sense of the word. It’s such a dumb question. Thanks for posting this. 🙂
Julie B. says
I’m so glad I’m not the only person to hate that question! It made me feel insecure, along with the variants: “is he a happy baby” and “is he a good sleeper?”. He’s happy when he’s happy, and almost always happy when he’s out in public, and he’s always been a great eater : ) And I’d always say “yes, he’s a good baby”. What people should ask is “are YOU happy to have this little miracle” or “he looks like a good baby”. That wouldn’t put the mommy on the spot, and gives her an opening to share some “good” anecdotes about her baby .
Linda@cookingtipoftheday says
I completely agree with you… it is an utterly stupid and insenstive question. How can a little baby be bad??? If they cry… something is wrong and unfortunately he or she can’t tell you what’s wrong.
The first night we had Erik home… he cried the entire night… never stopped once…. I tried everything… I was frustrated… and scared… because I couldn’t figure out what was wrong… he finally stopped in the morning… we called the doctor to be sure … and he just said it was a new surrounding and he should be fine… which he was… but it was a night of pure hell…. I have no idea how you handled it for that long… but in no way did I ever consider him a “bad” baby…
Linda@cookingtipoftheday’s last blog post..Recipe: Ham Salad Tea Sandwiches
LifeAtTheCircus says
I agree…bad question…. I never cease to be surprised by the things people will say to new moms….it’s as if they were raised with no manners or common sense!!
Looking forward to the Will posts in this upcoming week! Can’t believe he is turning 2!!! Will Keith be home for the celebration?
LifeAtTheCircus’s last blog post..WOW Have I Gotta Lot to Do!!
Monica says
I just wanted to thank all of you for your comments here, especially those of you who came out of hiding and commented for the first time! I appreciate all of you and what you bring to DailyDwelling!
Erin @ Closing Time says
I absolutely HATE that question too! Seriously, what are people thinking, and what kind of question is that anyway? My youngest had reflux and cried A LOT. We hardly slept at all for months. I suppose the people who ask that question would consider her a “bad baby”… How dare they!!!! All babies are precious and a gift. Some may be more challenging than others, but that does not diminish how special each one is!!!
Erin @ Closing Time’s last blog post..Weekend Thoughts: Lessons from a Goose