I am currently reading Real Moms…Real Jesus: Meet the Friend Who Understands by Jill Savage. In her chapter on forgiveness, she shares that through counseling, she and her husband learned that a full apology consists of seven words: I’m sorry. Will you please forgive me?
I have tried to teach my children a similar concept. That when someone apologizes, it requires a response of forgiveness.
We’ve also discussed the meaning of forgiveness and that extending forgiveness means treating the person as if they’d never hurt you.
I saw these lessons demonstrated with EA and MC tonight.
It started off with an argument over the name of one of MC’s animals. It’s a stuffed sheep that she wants to be called “sheep”, nothing more, nothing less. Just sheep. EA has “nicknamed” her sister’s sheep (get this) Sheep Catsy Onion.
After watching our weekly episode of Little House on the Prairie, the girls were getting ready for bed and MC told her daddy and I that she didn’t want a nickname for her sheep.
Okay…got it…no problem.
But, EA immediately started egging her on by saying and singing “Sheep Catsy Onion….Sheep Catsy Onion” as they were going to brush their teeth, causing quite the stir.
Okay…this whole thing is starting to sound really silly as I type it out, but that’s what 4 year olds fight over, bear with me.
As I was putting toothpaste on their toothbrushes, MC looked up at me and said, “Mommy, I’m sorry.”
I replied, “Honey, what are you sorry for.”
“Because I don’t want Sheep called Sheep Catsy Onion.”
I told her that she didn’t need to apologize for that….it was her animal and she can call it whatever she wants.
EA looked over at MC and then said, “I’m sorry, MC.”
And MC immediately replied with, “I forgive you.”
And everything was forgiven. Sheep’s name is back to plain ol’ Sheep and everyone is happy….at least for now.
The point is this…that apologies do require a response. More specifically, they require a response of forgiveness…total forgiveness.
As Christians we don’t really have the option of unforgiveness. Christ has given his life as a ransom for us….for our own nasty, dirty sins. When we come to our Lord in a spirit of confession and repentance, our forgiveness is never denied.
1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
Jesus lived a life of forgiveness, even praying for the forgiveness of those who crucified Him as he was dying on the cross. We are to follow His example in our own lives.
Unforgiveness causes a seed of bitterness to grow inside of us that causes harm to our spirits.
I am so thankful that I saw this expression of confession and forgiveness in my daughters tonight. It is a reminder to me that I am to be ready to apologize for my own sins and to readily respond with total forgiveness.
Is there someone that you need to confess a sin to, that you need to offer up an apology to and ask forgiveness of?
Or is there someone that you need to extend a reply of forgiveness to?
I would urge you to take the opportunity to do just that.
Stephanie says
Thank you for this post. You brought to light a piece of the puzzle that I was neglecting. I had not even thought about teaching the girls that they need to forgive each other. Oh, I bring it up from time to time, but not every time that an apology is offered. I truly do appreciate you sharing this story, and lesson.
Sidnie says
What a wonderful lesson for all of us!
I could definitely spend a little more time with Austin on apologies.
(P.S. I love Little House on the Prairie. I have memories of watching it with my mom. I could probably quote the episodes. Wonderful show!)
Erin @ Closing Time says
This is such an important lesson for us all to remember! Something we’ve been working on with our kids too is teaching them that whether someone else says that they are sorry or not, God wants us to forgive them anyway. That’s a really hard one!
.-= Erin @ Closing Time´s last blog ..Weekend Thoughts: Blocked =-.
Kristi_runwatch says
Thank you for the great reminder!! Forgiveness is a tough issue – I need to start talking with AG about that!!
.-= Kristi_runwatch´s last blog ..Saturday Blogger Spotlight: Sandra! =-.
Jenny in Ca says
this is such a sweet story, and a good reminder.
I think too, that the word “forgive” is so much more deeper than “sorry”, and we made a decision when mine were very young to require them to use the words…”will you forgive me”, instead of “I’m sorry” or the more likely heard “sorry” – it is much deeper, bringing the offender face to face with the fact that they are in the wrong. Funny, as adults, it’s hard to use those words too! Try it, next time you are about to give a simple “I’m sorry”, ask for forgiveness- it’s hard at first.
I’ve found that being a parent has caused me to re=examine what we do and why.
LifeAtTheCircus says
Yes, we too have taught our kids to apologize and also to say what they are sorry for while looking the other in the eye and then to seek forgiveness. I also think it is important for them to apologize to us as well. And in that same token, I have had to seek forgiveness from my children as well. Sometimes my kids aren’t so eager to forgive. We then talk about how God has forgiven us for our sins and we need to be willing to forgive as well.
.-= LifeAtTheCircus´s last blog ..Weekend Thoughts: Lessons from the Samaritan Woman =-.
Jordan says
Amazing what lessons we can learn (or be reminded of) through the innocent and forgiving eyes of a child. Thank you and the girls for this reminder!
Linda@cookingtipoftheday says
Forgiveness is a concept people struggle with everyday… if only adults could have the heart of a child… the world would be better off….teaching children early on about forgiveness is a so important… it will make them better people and happier too…. thanks for a great post.
.-= Linda@cookingtipoftheday´s last blog ..And the Winner is…. =-.
Nancy M. says
That is so wonderful! It can be harder for us adults to ask for forgiveness, but we still need to do it.
.-= Nancy M.´s last blog ..Magical Disney Sunday =-.